“I’m going to re-write the blog…. I think I need to make the content more evergreen. Consumable to masses…” I spewed while going on my 30 minutes of movement - a neighborhood walk which is all I have in me these days during covid. 10 lb heavier and 30 minute walks; that’s how we’re (me, my ego and my wild mind) are surviving.
Read moreThe Rawness of Inner Child and Parts Work
It’s not always easy to sit down and write about my trauma. Some stories are easier to share than others. The easy stories are sometimes interpreted as “leading with vulnerability” but to me the personal histories I share of my life are cherry-picked and comfortable. I have lived with the fact that my family fell apart when I was 16 for 15+ years now. I have lived with this fact my whole life. It’s a part of me. Explaining it to people doesn’t phase me, almost as I disassociated from trauma...honestly, the person who hears the story is typically more affected than I am.
Read moreAbandonment Wounds and Protesting Behavior
We all have stories, histories. Dark pasts that follow us around flowering in the most unexpected corners of coffee shops. It’s wild that one can feel so much disillusionment when literally on paper my life is the best it’s ever been. I disappeared amongst the trees along the Oregon Coast last weekend reeling from feelings.
I realized that I had managed to trigger a pretty deep abandonment wound. I guess this is why people need strong boundaries, so they don’t get themselves into stupid situations that lead to hurt feelings and confusion. When the felt sense of confusion is in the air, our bodies literally become reactionary, communication dwindles and defenses rise.
Read moreJust a human with a heart.
Edie Sedgwick (found on Tumblr)
I keep trying to write for others, like some self-imposed show pony. Be entertaining, educate or inspire. These are the three best practices in social media. I know this, I’ve been doing this job for almost a decade. That is what a good marketer would do... But 2020 isn't supposed to be about marketing Lu as a product or executing the right blog strategy. It’s supposed to be about me, Melissa/Lu (depending on how I’m feeling that day). This is the year where I’m leaning into my essence, my power and to truly use my voice.
For starters, I’m never really single. I have spent a lot of time being alone, yet, never truly alone. My friend Sarah pointed this out a couple of years ago… even when I go through years of being single. “Well, you always have someone in the wings,” she said ever so gently. And she’s right. I don’t know if I ever sat in my singledom…until maybe this month. Definitely never sober. The closest I’ve ever been to true independence is traveling. When we travel we are cut off from everyone in our day to day lives ... and even then, I find myself in little romantic trysts. That’s not to say those experiences weren’t real, just that when it comes to romantic relationships I have a lot of work to do.
Read moreNew Year, same me, more powerful.
2012 when I first got my passport
I can tell I have some deep-seated insecurities when I’d rather do my January budget, write a Quarterly Sales and Marketing report for work and run three miles in clear avoidance of writing this blog. It was so obvious to me that when my “brand” was wrapped around me (Lu)… I struggled to scale because as soon as I pivoted and started working in tech with a product, that has nothing to do with my personal brand, I excelled quickly and wildly. Isn’t it funny how that works?! Nonetheless, 2020 is about facing those fears, diving forward in vulnerability and little less fucks given to hopefully learn more leadership skills, to create and inspire others to start their own healing journeys. I hope to continue promoting my core values and the belief that through accountability, community, and communication the internet is a tool for great change.
Read more