I often get asked the question: why Pittsburgh? In terms of my job, I would say I was looking for change and that LA was too fast paced for me, but the reality was that I moved to Pittsburgh to start a company with a friend of mine from college. After two years of working on an arts startup together we officially parted ways this summer. If I’m being honest, it has me feeling a little lost. Before, my direction seemed clear. There was a business plan to stick to and there were dedicated goals to be reached.
Of course, the hardest part of any relationship is knowing when to walk away. When to throw in the gauntlet, dust yourself off and start moving in a different direction. It is never easy. The nights are sleepless for awhile, the booze pours heavy and doubt is constantly knocking at your door. Whether it is a friendship, lover or business partner, it hurts.
One of the things I love most about being creative is having the opportunity and encouragement to constantly reinvent myself. Today I might be a writer, tomorrow I might try to learn to sew, and maybe one day I’ll even pick up the brush to paint. On the other hand, it’s a vicious cycle, the need to create is rarely satiated. I can’t leave the house without thinking, oh what a great photo, or wouldn’t this make a good blog post? It is all too easy to become consumed by my work.
In the recent ending of my business relationship and the birth of this blog, I realized that I have spent the last two years working on an amazing project, but often, it was at the cost of my friends and family. I just wasn’t present. The hours were long and often at night; grinding away after my day job was finished. The weekend might as well have been renamed Monday Round 2 and Tuesday Round 3.
Lately I have been spending more meaningful time in my relationships, I’ve talked to family and my best friend more than I have in months. I also am enjoying having the time to build deeper friendships out here. If I have learned anything in all of this, it is that life is unpredictable and change happens fast. Now that I’m going at it alone, I realize, I have to solely rely on myself. That is a little scary! On the other hand, the ability to have creative freedom is life altering and exhilarating.
It is a new beginning. My relationship with this city is about to drastically change. I’m not exactly sure what this life has in store for me next but we’re about to find out.