It was July 4th when I begrudgingly left my adopted family’s Tahoe rental house to pick up Dominic and his friends. The house stood high above the lake, it’s wrap-around deck glowing in the evening light. My best friend and her fiance were cooking a meal for everyone. I had just finished a game of dominos with one of my sisters and her boyfriend after spending the day at the lake with our parents and family friends - reading magazines, paddle boarding, and laughing with one another. When I’m with my adoptive family, I get to be just another kid. The stresses of my life wash away under the protection of their love and unconditional acceptance. It’s a safe place where if even for a brief meal or weekend, I feel normal.
Read moreBeing the Stand-in-Mom
A couple years ago, friends of mine had their first baby. Shortly afterwards, they visited. For the first time in knowing this couple, I saw sheer defeat in their faces. Eventually, these looks dissipated into the joyful and positive faces of two amazing parents. But the memory stuck with me. Here were two strong, capable adults who seemed completely broken by this adorable blob of an infant they had created.
I went through my own version of this transition this fall. Boundaries were tested, authority was established, and I’m finding strength within myself that I never knew I had.
Read more