Value Based Decision Making Starts with Definition

July 20, 2020 Melissa LuVisi

I stand huddled over the sink in my empty house. Some days the emptiness is joyous, as light filters through the vast kitchen windows; some days this house feels dark and lonely as if it’s closing in on me. I meander between these walls as the hours turn into days, which turn into weeks and have now become months. I miss my family. I daydream about wanting a family of my own. Quarantine stripped the everyday distractions self-medicating us from the very real trauma we carry within the strands of our DNA (epigenetics).

The burned-out neural pathways of our childhoods, sit on repeat and reaction like drains we circle in survival.

Before I started the work, I was a queen of self-medication. Scrolling through Instagram to avoid emotional intimacy, numbing myself with alcohol and drugs, or even events. Hell, I’m a parentified and achievement motivated workaholic at times. My career gives me social capital which one could argue is its own self-medication.

Tender Greens + The power of Micro-economies

July 7, 2020 Melissa LuVisi

I love the romance of starting and ending my day with locally made skincare products. I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee with locally roasted beans. I love going on dates with my partner to the farmers market to curate every corner of my life. Life is how you curate it.

I started my career in a recession. I graduated UCLA as an Art History major. I knew a career in the arts was not going to be lucrative. I was ok with that. However, the uphill battle of trying to find a job in the arts in LA in 2009 was impossible. Art institutions were cutting budgets while ½ the galleries in the city closed or moved online. I worked three jobs busing between Hollywood and Santa Monica. I spent my days working for an art collector while moonlighting at an accounting company on the westside. At night, I was slinging salads in Culver City at an up and coming restaurant chain called Tender Greens.

Abandonment Wounds and Protesting Behavior

January 24, 2020 Melissa LuVisi

We all have stories, histories. Dark pasts that follow us around flowering in the most unexpected corners of coffee shops. It’s wild that one can feel so much disillusionment when literally on paper my life is the best it’s ever been. I disappeared amongst the trees along the Oregon Coast last weekend reeling from feelings.

I realized that I had managed to trigger a pretty deep abandonment wound. I guess this is why people need strong boundaries, so they don’t get themselves into stupid situations that lead to hurt feelings and confusion. When the felt sense of confusion is in the air, our bodies literally become reactionary, communication dwindles and defenses rise.

Just a human with a heart.

January 9, 2020 Melissa LuVisi

I keep trying to write for others, like some self-imposed show pony. Be entertaining, educate or inspire. These are the three best practices in social media. I know this, I’ve been doing this job for almost a decade. That is what a good marketer would do... But 2020 isn't supposed to be about marketing Lu as a product or executing the right blog strategy. It’s supposed to be about me, Melissa/Lu (depending on how I’m feeling that day). This is the year where I’m leaning into my essence, my power and to truly use my voice.

For starters, I’m never really single. I have spent a lot of time being alone, yet, never truly alone. My friend Sarah pointed this out a couple of years ago… even when I go through years of being single. “Well, you always have someone in the wings,” she said ever so gently. And she’s right. I don’t know if I ever sat in my singledom…until maybe this month. Definitely never sober. The closest I’ve ever been to true independence is traveling. When we travel we are cut off from everyone in our day to day lives ... and even then, I find myself in little romantic trysts. That’s not to say those experiences weren’t real, just that when it comes to romantic relationships I have a lot of work to do.

New Year, same me, more powerful.

January 6, 2020 Melissa LuVisi

I can tell I have some deep-seated insecurities when I’d rather do my January budget, write a Quarterly Sales and Marketing report for work and run three miles in clear avoidance of writing this blog. It was so obvious to me that when my “brand” was wrapped around me (Lu)… I struggled to scale because as soon as I pivoted and started working in tech with a product, that has nothing to do with my personal brand, I excelled quickly and wildly. Isn’t it funny how that works?! Nonetheless, 2020 is about facing those fears, diving forward in vulnerability and little less fucks given to hopefully learn more leadership skills, to create and inspire others to start their own healing journeys. I hope to continue promoting my core values and the belief that through accountability, community, and communication the internet is a tool for great change.